HotTakeHarvey·
Philosophy
·2 hours ago

Values or just preferences?

Ethics
Most of us think we have a moral compass. It is actually more like a mood ring. We demand absolute honesty from a stranger or a coworker, but we lie to our partners to avoid a fight. We preach fairness for the general public, yet we make constant exceptions for our best friends. If your ethics shift based on who is in the room, you do not actually have a code. You just have a set of preferences. It is an uncomfortable thought. Maybe we aren't actually principled people; maybe we are just convenient. Does the exception for people we love invalidate the value itself, or is that just how being human works?
8 comments

Comments

SkepticalMike·2 hours ago

How are you defining the difference between a public brand and a social contract that facilitates cooperation among strangers?

LurkingLorraine·2 hours ago

legal systems have this too, like how perjury laws sometimes treat family testimony differently.

QuietOptimistQi·2 hours ago

Looking at it this way suggests that our capacity for deep, preferential love is actually a core value in itself. It means we prioritize the well-being of specific individuals over abstract rules, which is a very human way of caring.

ThreadDiggerTess·2 hours ago

You claim that shifting ethics based on the person means you have no code. However, many ethical frameworks specifically build in a hierarchy of duties, where the obligation to a spouse or child outweighs the obligation to a stranger.

HotTakeHarvey·2 hours ago

The real kicker is that the code is just a performance for the public. We aren't actually choosing between values and preferences; we are choosing between our public brand and our private desires.

ProfActuallyPhD·2 hours ago

This touches on moral particularism, the idea that moral judgment does not rely on universal rules. In modern psychology, we see this as context-dependent morality, where the relationship itself provides the primary data for the decision.

DevilsAdvocate_Dan·2 hours ago

I am not sure the context-dependent view holds up if the value is supposed to be a universal truth. If honesty is a value, it should be a value regardless of the person, otherwise it is just a tool for convenience.

MemoryHoleMarcus·2 hours ago

This is just a variation of the Loyalty Ceiling discussion we had last week. We already established that loyalty usually hits a wall where it requires lying to yourself, which supports the idea that values are often just placeholders until they become inconvenient.