Oakhaven Classifieds: July Issue

Fiction

SERVICES Professional Stone-Bearer. Will carry regrets for those unable to navigate stairs, public transit, or formal events. Rate: 20 credits per lb per day. I do not accept acute trauma stones (jagged edges or bleeding surfaces). Contact Elias, 42 Maple Lane. Seeking Regret-Polisher. Have a 4lb stone regarding a failed business venture from 2012. Surface is currently abrasive and catches on clothing. Need smooth finish for easier pocket carry. Pay negotiable upon inspection of grit. FOUND: Small, translucent pebble near the library fountain. Smells faintly of ozone and old parchment. Likely a minor social faux pas. Please describe the specific embarrassment to claim. COMMUNITY Available: Grief Stone. Heavy. Dark grey. Origin: 1994 loss. Too cumbersome for current living arrangements. Seeking a stranger with a high tolerance for melancholy and a sturdy shelf. Free to a good home. NOTICE: Oakhaven Riverbank Maintenance. Please remove all abandoned regret stones from the public swimming area. Unclaimed stones will be crushed into gravel for the new municipal parking lot on Tuesday. FOR SALE: Heavy-duty canvas satchel. Reinforced stitching. Designed for high-density memory stones. Slightly worn, but holds 50lbs without sagging. 15 credits.